Stuff That Happens To Me

I just realized what's going on.

2008-12-22T01:25:00.000-06:00

So apparently school is over now?

I was confused, I was wondering why we were having another week of school after finals.
Well I guess it is time to go home?

Also apparently I have a blog. What's that about?

L to the P?
Nah that sounds stupid.

www.theNoZe.org

A Magazine That I Did Not Buy

2008-09-28T00:34:00.003-05:00

So I don't know if you've picked up the latest issue of Vogue yet, cause I know I sure haven't. However, if I had I would be very upset at the fact that I have been reading for some 252 pages now and I am only through the third page of the table of contents.

The aforementioned table would certainly continue to assure me that there would eventually be some sort of article within the next hundred pages or so, but I don't believe, though for a while I'm sure I felt better about my borderline illiteracy as the first hundred or so pages of advertisements were fairly easy to read, I assume. I began to run into trouble when I encountered the Estee Lauder ad on page 138 which featured even more partially naked women than every other ad in the magazine.

Anyhow all of this entirely beside the point as I would never be caught buying a copy of Vogue. I mean can you imagine how awkward that would be for me. Very awkward.

I would however pay some girl I found in the parking lot to purchase one for me.
I still didn't do that though. Besides with as many ads as there are in the magazine you'd think they would be paying me to read it, or at least let me have it for free.
Whatever.

Completely unrelated to the Vogue thing, I would like to thank Susan for helping me out earlier today. By the way I did expect some change back, but whatever, you'll get yours.

That's all I got for now.
Bro. Love Potion ;) NoZe
www.theNoZe.org

I'm Tired of Writing This Post: This Bores Me

2008-08-26T22:47:00.006-05:00

I'm tired.

And I'm bored.

I'm really complainy.

I don't even feel good.

And no one is even being nice to me today.

My classes are hard.

This is all so unfair.

This year sucks.

Whatever.

:<(

That's an awesomely shaped complaintfest.

To quote the Typhoid Fever pamphlet I am reading from:
Boil it, cook it, peel it, or forget it.

As true now as when it was written, March 2008.
www.theNoZe.org

Outrage: Sweaty Men: I Wanted Glistening Women

2008-08-09T14:51:00.003-05:00

You know what is really aggravating?

Mustard, but that's not what I was going to complain about.
So I'm sitting here right and so I think to myself I'll check what's on the TV set. So I do. And TV tells me that US women's beach volleyball is on right now, so naturally I wanted to support my country and watch this half naked spectacle.

Nope.

First there was men's swimming, then men's bicycling, then women's swimming, which was admittedly not much more appealing than the men's, and then finally it gets to the beach volleyball.

Men's beach volleyball.

This is bullshit, if you're going to advertise bikinied women, then you better deliver the goods.

This is just plain not acceptable. Apparently Latvia is better than us at beach volleyball as well.

Anyways, I'm sorry mustard; I'm not mad at you anymore. And you come here, my hot dog misses you.

In other news: school soon huh? Damn.

www.theNoZe.org

That's a bitchin' title, dawg.

2008-05-12T02:07:00.003-05:00

Why do they announce to you at a restaurant that your plate is hot? Don't they know that I immediately take this as a personal challenge?

Needless to say it's rather difficult to type right now let alone turn the pages /slash do the needed work to study and prepare myself for my final tomorrow.

So here we are.

Anyway, you may have noticed that I've been gone for a while, and well I have. Admittedly I have been going through a rather busy, rather tough time these last couple weeks. And yes, even NoZe Brothers can get a little depressed at times.
But never fear, I have found some comfort lately and I was thinking maybe I could share to help out anyone else in the same situation as myself.
No it was not Underdog.

It was actually a song, and since this is the internet I thought I would share some to all of the inspirational lyrics.

So here they are.

Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt.
It is so big. *scoff* She looks like,
one of those rap guys' girlfriends.
But, you know, who understands those rap guys? *scoff*
They only talk to her, because,
she looks like a total prostitute, 'kay?
I mean, her butt, is just so big.
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like,
out there, I mean - gross. Look!
She's just so ... black!

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get with you
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got makes me so horny
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupie
I've seen them dancin'
To hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!

(LA face with Oakland booty)
Baby got back!

I like 'em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys
I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mix-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Knock-kneeded bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sisters, I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *fuck*
Till the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
If you wanna role in my Mercedes {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back!

Baby got back!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3".

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got buns, hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups,
But please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sister, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So ladies, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back!

Apparently that song is longer than I thought. Good for it.

Catch ya later, Alligator sinensis.

You know, just once I want to go over to King Phillip's place and have him cook me some damn spaghetti.

www.theNoZe.org

I Broke The Streek of Mondays

2008-04-10T00:47:00.002-05:00

Sadly there was no nudity, at least anything worth mentioning anyway.

I don't know if this happens to anyone other than me, and I of course assume that it doesn't given my supreme uniqueness, but do you ever happen across something that just gets you so steamed that you just want to go home and write a pretend humorous rant on your so called blog, just to have you forget a couple minutes later?

Well, that doesn't happen to me.

What does happen to me, and a lot, is um...
You know, like when you're about to uhhh

Like how when you run into someone you know and it's kind of not awkward but what is it?

Um...

Well catch you next time

www.theNoZe.org

Apparently Things Only Happen To Me On Mondays

2008-03-31T22:03:00.004-05:00

So talk about a long day today.
I think I will.

You'd think only having one class on Monday at, oh let's say 12ish, I might actually go to it.
Well, not to toot my own horn, but today I did. I didn't think I was ever going to get out of it; it lasted forever.

Long story short the class lasted for something like six hours and probably would have gone on longer if the janitor hadn't woken me up as he was going through the classrooms.

Good nap though. I got to be a viking.

Peace out y'all.

Someone is watching me

2008-03-24T22:27:00.002-05:00

I don't know who makes these, but someone is watching me. Unless other people are boring too.

http://garfieldminusgarfield.tumblr.com/

Oh wait, I forget sometimes. I'm me, thus amazing. I'm not everyone else. Silly me.

First Day Back

2008-03-17T21:58:00.002-05:00

Lately quite a few things are getting on my nerves more than just a little bit. I don't know if this just happens to me, and to be honest I don't really care if it happens to anyone else seeing as my primary concern is myself, however, it's really aggravating when I go to order a sandwich and chips and for whatever reason I have to get a drink too just because it's cheaper.

There's a reason why I didn't want a drink. Do you think they ever thought of that? No, why would they when they can just throw cups at me and telling me how I'm saving a dollar and some dumb number of cents. Granted my reasons aren't always the best and are typically because of the fact that getting a drink is a pretty big commitment and I usually haven't thought that far ahead.

{Ladies, scratch that last thought. In fact, my two favorite things are commitment and changing myself. You can contact me/get in line at noze dot brotherhood at gmail.com.}(I've always wanted to break up an email address like that. Take that list of things to do.>

And, while I'm complaining about my experience at subway, what happened to the provolone cheese? Did subway and the fine cheese union get in a fight or does everyone just not know how to eat a good sandwich.

I mean why the hell should I suffer, what did I ever do to anybody? All I ever wanted, besides the millennium falcon and a thundercougarfalconbird, was a decent sandwich with provolone cheese and no drink. And, so help me God, if there are tomatoes anywhere near my food someone will paying dearly.

Ketchup's delicious though, just ask Bro. Hurricane KatriNoZe.

Now that I've entirely forgotten what I was mad about, I'm gonna go sleep now. Not really though, it's that day where you drink a lot and everything looks really green.

Monday.

~Bro. Love Potion Number NoZe
~~Formerly and Currently Bro. Death Poison Number No(i)Ze

www.theNoZe.org
(but really if you didn't already know about that site then how the hell did you get here?)